Juntleman

"— Ah Wishes eifer mah Pappy o’ mah Mammy, o’ indeed both o’ them, as they was in duty both equally boun’ t’it, had minded whut they was about when they begot me; had they duly cornsider’d how much depended upon whut they was then doin’; —thet not only the produckshun o’ a rashunal Bein’ was corncern’d in it, but thet postibly th’ happy fo’mashun an’ temperature o’ his hide, perhaps his junius an’ th’ mighty cast o’ his mind; — an’ fo’ aught they knowed to th’ contray, even th’ fo’tunes o’ his whole house might take their turn fum th’ hoomours an’ disposishuns which was then uppemost: — Had they duly weighed an’ cornsidered all thia, an’ proceeded acco’din’ly, — ah’s vahily persuaded ah sh’d haf made a quite diffrunt figger in th’ wo’ld"

— opening lines from Th' life an' Opinions of Tristram Shan'y, Juntleman, As any fool kin plainly see. Voloom I. Westphalie Verlag. This copy of David Jourdan's translation of Tristram Shandy into Al Capp's Li'l Abner Dogpatch vernacular, was purchased at the Bookfair Friends with Books in Berlin, Dec. 2015.